The legend of Little Tommy Two Fingers

This is why I shouldn’t be left alone with my thoughts….

Tommy Myrishkov (pronounced Zim-blob) is 7’8″ 477lbs and lives 2 towns and 13 blocks over from HoeHo Lahgotti. By day he works at a small deli where he specializes in making spiced chicken jelly. His night job is a bouncer at daycare. It was at his 2nd job that he met Suzie from 3 towns over and down the way. She was dropping off her 5 year old niece for their nightly rave and got to talking to Tommy. She was immediately attracted to his purplish green eyes and the fact he was wearing a Pomplamoose jean jacket, her favorite band. This started a 6 week love affair. The problem in all this was she already was seeing HoeHo (he was 5 at the time)…

When HoeHo found out he met up with Lahkakeesor-Bob (A 77 year old one legged half Vietnamese half Zimbabwe gentleman who seeked out HoeHo 4 years prior thinking he was the child spoken in the prophecy), and they waited in the bushes outside Tommy’s 73 room hut. When they saw Suzie leave they enacted their revenge. Lahkakeesor-Bob used the ancient art of pyroashumah to subdue the much larger man. Then HoeHo grabbed the wire snips and removed two of Tommy’s fingers and shoved them up his ass.

And that’s how Little Tommy Two Fingers got his name.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s